My apologies.....

Dumbfounded....that is what I am....I have not understood why women completely let themselves go when they have little children....well, for all of you wonderful, nurturing, amazing women out there...I sincerely apologize for the ridiculous thoughts...and lame expectations...I look like a POS most of the time...I realize now...that there are choices to be made each day....do I shower? (....and if I do...will I actually be able to shave both legs....) do I work out? (and if I choose this...I probably won't be able to shower...) do I eat?  (this option seems to win over the others choices most days).....but my sweet baby girl...she is bathed and beautiful each and every day....I now understand...this time in my life isn't about me at all....it's about surviving...and spending time with the wee little darling who is the reason I have been painting over chipped toenail polish for weeks now....over...and over...haha...and I've gotta say....it's worth being a scum bag.  My day will return sometime....but for now....she shines....:)

Oh man...

Quinn isn't feeling well...she has sounded very raspy for a couple of days...at first I chalked it up to the fact that she cried so much last weekend....(we had to take her to the ER at Children's Hospital to make sure she didn't have an intestinal blockage or anything else wrong)...she cried from early Friday night until late Saturday night...it was terrible....heart wrenching...anyhoo...this raspy thing I think may be a cold....not good.  Since Quinn is a preemie, she is so much more vulnerable than a term babe.....I've been so careful with her....very few outings and not to public places.....She could've very well picked something up during our jaunt to the ER....(dirty grimy ER's.....yuck).  So tomorrow I will put a call into the Pediatrician and see if they'd like me to take her in.....hopefully it will pass soon....bless her little heart.   Seeing her not feeling well....is just plain torture....I just wanna fix it.
Drove to Freaklandia (Walmart) this morning to pick up more formula (unfortunately I lost my breast milk after 3 months....Sad time) and some saline drops....early morning is definitely the time to go.....no...it's not the hour for the superb people watching that Walmart offers...but I can do without that....:)

How Does One Really Know.....

I spent a long time trying to get pregnant....failed attempts, loss, shots, schedules.....and I knew that if I was ever blessed with a baby...that it would be so awesome....but I had no idea how awesome.  No one can know this kind of love until it's handed to you in a little swaddled bundle....or in my case....looking into an isolette at a 2 lb. 9 oz. amazing little life...she...Quinn...has stolen my heart in its entirety....